Over the summer, the world was introduced to Lillian Colon. At sixty-five, this long-retired dancer and former Rockette auditioned for–and was cast for–In The Heights, Lin-Manuel Miranda’s musical love letter to Upper Manhattan and the thriving Latinx community that lives there. In doing so, Colon didn’t just land the biggest gig of her career, or make a trailblazing statement about what seniors are capable of doing; she did what millions of moms are trying to do: returned to her old career.
Final kick
Moms stepping back from their careers isn’t anything new. The practice is well-established in every part of the world where women are able to have one at all. Most of the industrialized world offers paid maternity leave for upwards of six months or longer; in the United States, new mothers more often face a choice of quitting or working themselves to death. But regardless, women who take time away from their careers to care for their children don’t have the best odds of returning when they’re able.
The pandemic she-cession gives this problem stark new urgency, as the entire childcare infrastructure has suffered a critical, debilitating blow, forcing millions of women out of work for lack of another option.
When I came across Lillian’s story, my first thought was “Oh, my! So many women feel frustrated and helpless about lost careers right now, but this lady here? She took hers back.” I just knew we had to talk.
Liz Elting: I’d like to start by briefly introducing you to our readers. Lillian, you have an incredible story. From growing up in an orphanage to choreographing Menudo to becoming the first Latina Rockette, your life almost feels like it’s out of a movie, a sort of dancer’s Citizen Kane. Capping that with getting to dance in In the Heights, with one of the most well-respected musical songwriters in the world must have been satisfying. Tell us a little about yourself and your career.
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Lillian Colon: Thank you for asking me. Yes, I grew up in an orphanage in the Bronx, the Lt. Joseph P Kennedy Jr. Home for children. I was there for fifteen years. The orphanage was run by the Roman Catholic Archdioceses of New York along with Franciscan Nuns. The sprawling property was originally a summer home of the Kennedys.
Although it was beautifully maintained, everyday my thoughts were consumed with how to get out of there. I ran away often, first when I was five years old and several times after that. But somehow I was always spotted and brought back before I could get too far away. In that phase of my life, identifying with Little Orphan Annie and her hard knock life, kept me motivated and inspired. Although my hard knocks were real and there wasn’t a Daddy Warbucks in my future.
My life forever changed when the nuns started an afternoon dance class hiring a dance teacher to come twice a month. Mrs. Zimmerman was my guiding light into the world of dance. Later that year, the nuns took many of the children to see the Radio City Christmas Show. Seeing the Rockettes for the first time opened my eyes to a magical and wonderful world. From that moment I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to be on that stage and dance as a Rockette!
Getting from a Bronx orphanage to the Great Stage of Radio City Music Hall was not a linear path. There were ups and (many more) downs. But I kept moving forward no matter how tough it was. I’d comb every trade paper for an open call, for any chance to audition. Rejection after rejection, I finally landed a contract in September 1973. I was cast as an ensemble dancer for the bus and truck tour of the Broadway revival of No, No Nanette.That was the start and the realization of what had been bubbling inside me. During those wishful times, I danced my way through nearly every state in the country. Eventually I landed a movie job that brought me to Mexico and a television show, along with nightclub work where I worked for five years. From there I traveled Latin America with Menudo, and opened at Radio City Music Hall as Menudo’s lead dancer and choreographer.
I never dreamed I would become the first Latina Rockette. Looking back at that phase of my life and career sometimes my life does feel like a movie. No one asked and I never told anyone my dance life started in a Bronx orphanage, but my childhood dream to be a Rockette came true. Nowadays, I continue to find ways to dance. I still look for auditions whether they come from an agent or not. The Rockette audition 30 years back, was an open call–I had no agent, and still don’t. And that is how I got the dance role in the movie In the Heights. I went to an open call. To work with the Latino Sondheim, as I like to call him, along with a well-respected director and choreographer was exhilarating. I was privileged being in the same room with them. I learned so much from watching them.
Elting: You became the first Latina Rockette in 1987, the same year the group opened membership to Black and Brown dancers. I confess to being shocked that such a repugnant and atavistic policy as that lasted into 1987 and cannot imagine how you must have felt on day one. Can you speak to that experience?
Colon: In 1987, open auditions for the Rockettes were scarce. There wasn’t much turn over in the Rockette troupe–who would leave such a wonderful job? Although it was my dream to dance on the Great Stage, I never thought I’d have the opportunity to get in. So when I heard about the open call I ran to the audition. Although I’m Puerto Rican, back then it was common for everyone to pronounce my name as “Colin” instead of “Colón,” ignoring the accent in my name. I think I fooled them. The Rockettes are a specific type of dancer with many requirements held to the highest level. Individual dance skills and your physical appearance are closely scrutinized. I am blessed to have passed the audition and broken down barriers. I always worked hard improving my technique. I still do. I don’t take being the first Latina Rockette for granted. There’s a certain responsibility that comes with that.
Elting: You stepped back from dance as a career when your daughter was born. I really want to focus here because this is something moms across the world do every day. You went from being onstage to backstage, from the spotlight to the wardrobe closet, but while both working and raising your daughter, you continued dance training. As a working mother myself, I have to ask—how did you find the time? And just as importantly, how did you keep yourself healthy and sane?
Colon: Dance is my passion, my daughter is my life and work was a necessity. I had $3.13 in the bank when I became a Rockette. That reality sticks with you. I wanted to help support my family and stay on stage in some capacity. Transitioning to the wardrobe department was manageable, a bridge step made easier from more than 30 years on the talent side. What also helped were the home economics classes from the orphanage. I questioned the benefits of sewing, folding and cleaning–time proves the benefits of education never expire. While working as a dresser there were those days that stirred up questions, and the struggles of life that made you reflect and dig deep to examine where you are and where you want to be. I knew putting the time in would direct me to my own goals and objectives for the future. Through it all the answer has always been dance. It has kept me sane, healthy, and focused. When you’re grounded and have a passion, you find time–you make the time to do whatever it takes to get you through. I always get eight hours of sleep and manage the rest of the day to get things done. There were many days that I took Roxy to dance class and to work with me, feeding and tending to her between combinations or shows. It was a chance to bond, and teach her about the balance of work and play.
Elting: Can you talk a little bit about your experience stepping back? What motivated it?
I was at a crossroads in my career in a youth driven industry. The clock was ticking on both my dance career and the window for starting a family. I was 40 when I met my husband and we married 5 years later. My priorities shifted from dancing and performing on stage to yearning to starting a family. With the help of doctors and science, I got pregnant at 45 and gave birth to Roxy at 46. The desire to experience motherhood was the major motivation to sacrifice–albeit temporarily–my show biz career. Stepping back was the path I needed to take in order to be where I am today. Not only so that I could dance again but to fulfill the dream of having a family. Now my daughter tells me, “You got this Mom.” She motivates me to continue the push forward and believe in myself. I have to be an example for her, no matter how hard. To show her life is hard, not to be afraid of the extra effort needed to fulfill her dreams.
Elting: Now, after decades away from the stage, you made the decision to come back to, and held your own against kids less than a third your age. The dance training regimen you maintained certainly worked in your favor, I imagine. That’s the secret sauce to returning to a career after a long time away: staying current, keeping whatever skills and muscles you need to perform well in tip top shape. It’s also not something a lot of women are able to do. What would your advice be to moms who hope to return to or re-energize their careers at some point?
Colon: Be patient. The doctors wouldn’t let me dance or exercise during my pregnancy, and I didn’t want to jeopardize my chance of having the baby because it might be my only opportunity. Taking a year off from dance takes five years to get back to where you were. I knew I had to be patient with myself as I saw my body change, and I wasn’t used to the new me. I kept telling myself patience, patience, tolerance. You may think no one wants you after you reach forty or fifty, but I thought how do I go forward without giving up on my passion–without giving up on myself. I thought, “I may have to put dance on hold but I can write!” My plan was to write my story and perform it, to think big and start small. When Roxy started kindergarten I had more time to take more dance classes and write. My goal was to get back on stage dancing, finish my memoir, and produce Lilly as a one-woman show by Roxy’s first year of college. Today she’s in her third year of college, I perform the one-woman show, my memoir Lilly is nearly ready for release, and I danced in the movie. My advice: be patient, follow your dreams and desires, and make big plans! It’s amazing what happens when you put your fears aside, follow your heart, and never stop living what you believe you can do. Believe in yourself. You’ll be pleasantly surprised with what you find on the other side of fear. Don’t listen to that negative voice telling you, you can’t do it. Walk through, feel your truth, and live your dream.
Elting: What was it like auditioning for and performing in In the Heights?
Colon: The audition was very intimidating. Everyone was beautiful, skinny, and 35 years younger than me. The audition for the In The Heights movie was an open call. Auditions were held across the country, seeking dancers of all types and ages, range 20-65. It was winter 2018, and I’d been teaching a Broadway Jazz class for fifteen plus years. I was confident I could keep up with whatever choreography was presented, so I let my dance skills rip. I ignored my own fears and the intimidation of the younger dancer, and decided to keep calm and dance! During an audition, there’s an elimination process. With every combination you perform you’re either asked to leave or you go on to the next round. I wanted to get past that process, hoping to get to the front of the room and closer to the table where the director and choreographer were watching. I made it. The dancers that remained lined up and answered questions about our experience and background credentials. After I told my story about being the first Latina Rockette, the room burst into a screaming applause, telling me how they wanted to be like me when they “grow up.” I was shocked and thought how crazy I was to be so intimidated. I left feeling great but never heard from them until about four or so months later when I received the phone call booking me for the movie. It was one of the greatest moments in my career to be a part of the movie.
Although I wasn’t as cool as the young ones, I was accepted with open arms. It was an honor and a blast to be singing and dancing in the language and culture of my youth and on the streets where I grew up. Although it was hard dancing in 90-degree weather doing double pirouettes on melting asphalt for fourteen hours a day, I loved every minute of it.
Elting: Did the experience leave you with any insights that other women starting second acts and continuing their careers could benefit from?
Colon: Preparation and self-care are key. It’s great when you’re doing something you love and it doesn’t feel like work. Yet, by the time I left the set I was in pain and every muscle in my legs was cramping. Ice bags and rest, and I was ready to go again. I was pushing myself to keep up and be my personal best. I wanted to be as good as I ever was, to be more, and do more. For a good part of the movie that I worked on, the set was the street. Neighborhood people were watching the action and so were the paid extras. There was a dance sequence where I was optimally comfortable but my costume shoes weren’t quite right, and outside we were dancing in a heat wave on gravel. I looked around and in my mind it seemed that everyone was watching me and picking my performance apart. There was a group of young girls and an older woman that kept staring at me. Mentally I was dying because I thought they were laughing at me. When the director called cut, they rushed over to me and gave me the biggest compliments ever. The older woman was practically in tears with joy and admiration of how much I inspired her. So, when you take that risk and are pushed out of your comfort zone, when you’re feeling the fear and the intimidation, and you think everyone is laughing at you–walk through it. Prepare and give yourself the love and motivation you deserve. You’ll be happy with what you find on the other side of fear.
Elting: Is there anything else you would like to share with readers?
Colon: For many years women at 65 were sitting in rocking chairs on the front porch. Today we’re dancing in movies. We are vibrant, energized, and more in control. There are more successful business women now with their own companies, such as you. We have to share our talents, our vitality, our strengths and create opportunity for the younger generation as well as create longevity in our own lives. Show young women they can do it too, teach by example. Let’s not give up at a certain age, any age, only to be cast away.
The conversation has been edited and condensed for clarity.
