Many Individuals are making it clear that they’re reducing ties with household and buddies who voted for President-elect Donald Trump—and don’t depend them in for this 12 months’s vacation gatherings both. Within the days following Nov. 5, movies on social media, particularly TikTok, began flooding in, displaying folks both devastated, offended, or defiantly talking out about feeling betrayed by household and buddies.
“The family wants to know what I’m doing for the holidays,” TikTok person translovingmama shared. “I’m going to be here with my dogs and my daughter, who’s of childbearing age and now has to get an IUD at 17 years old. And I’m going to be here with my son, who is a political target. And that should really tell you all you need to know about why I’m not going to be hanging out with y’all for the holidays. So, fuck off.”
As Thanksgiving approaches, many Individuals are vowing to spend it away from their MAGA relations.
“The threat is real”
Finn, a 27-year-old trans individual in Colorado, who requested to stay nameless for security causes, mentioned when his mother and father requested about his vacation plans he mentioned he wouldn’t be going again to Texas.
Finn mentioned his conversations along with his Republican mother and father, each Trump supporters, have turn out to be more and more strained since 2016. His father claimed he didn’t consider that Trump would truly hurt trans folks, regardless that Finn insisted that Trump would and has harmed his neighborhood since being elected president—bear in mind the transgender ban, stopping them from serving within the army?
Now, Finn has not solely distanced himself from his household, however in 2024, he’s questioning whether or not he needs a relationship with them in any respect.
“I just don’t feel like being around my family is something I can safely or comfortably do right now,” he mentioned in an interview with Day by day Kos. “The harm is real. The threat is real. With all the anti-trans legislation passed recently, and knowing how this election has emboldened people in Texas to be even more hateful toward the queer community, I don’t feel safe.”
He expressed deep grief over the rising distance between him and his household.
“I feel really angry and sad about how things have shifted,” he mentioned. “The upcoming administration, the media on the far-right—it’s all turned my family into people who vote for awful, shitty things. I can’t even recognize them anymore.”
The straw that broke the camel’s again
For Finn and plenty of others, 2024 feels completely different. Trump being elected once more, after years of watching his harmful rise, was the straw that broke the camel’s again.
Again in 2016, there have been nonetheless questions on what Trump truly meant or may do. However after years of destruction, together with his Supreme Courtroom picks, it’s clear: his intentions are a lot darker this time. “If you’re voting for him now, after everything that’s happened in the last eight years, you have to know what he’s capable of,” Finn added.
Navigating overwhelming feelings round Trump and how you can come to phrases with household and buddies who help the MAGA motion is one thing that social employee and JustAnswer.com psychology knowledgeable Jennifer Kelman mentioned she sees extra often now amongst her sufferers.
“Some have ended friendships and are struggling with sitting down at a table to celebrate the holidays with those that are part of the MAGA movement or support the agenda. Sometimes these views and agenda feels like a personal attack, and they aren’t able to remain in contact with family members that voted in a way that harms them,” Kelman mentioned.
Those that voted for Trump have argued that “politics” shouldn’t come between friendships or household. However those that are selecting to chop ties aren’t shopping for it.
”The election transcends politics”
“This election transcends politics,” mentioned psychotherapist Renee Zavislak, who focuses on trauma and hosts “Psycho Therapist: The Podcast.”
“The polarization is deeper this year, as the incoming administration presents a real and present danger to marginalized people. For those people who love a queer person, or an undocumented person, or a woman of childbearing age, tolerating MAGA means tolerating abuse and torture—and most of us don’t like torture around the Christmas tree.”
TikTok person lazialeinez chimed in: “Now that the election’s over, are we supposed to just go back to being friends? So even if you voted for Trump, I’m still supposed to be your friend? Yeah, in your fucking dreams,” he mentioned. “You voted for a racist. A man who mocks disabled people. A man who took away women’s rights and is taking away gay rights. So no, you’re not my friend.”
Even Fox Information host Jesse Watters shared his family drama. “Apparently, there wasn’t enough room at my mom’s house for me this year,” he mentioned on his present “Jesse Watters Primetime” after being disinvited from Thanksgiving by his Democratic mom.
Mayenakpan, one other TikTok person, delivered a blunt message for individuals who might depend on their Democrat-voting kinfolk or buddies for emotional stability.“Those of you who are so upset about people no longer being in your life over political differences, what you do know is happening is that your shock absorbers are leaving in droves,” mentioned Mayenakpan in a publish with the caption FAFO, which stands for “f-ck around and find out.”
“Your emotional regulators are saying, ‘You don’t have an invitation anymore.’ All that energy that you were siphoning from them, all that kindness, all that intimacy, all the solutions that they gave to you freely because they made space for you, that’s gone,” she mentioned, erupting in laughter.
“I need space”
And she or he’s not alone. Take Andrea Tate, as an example. She wrote in an essay for HuffPost after her husband posted “God Bless America. God Bless #45, 47” on social media, she didn’t maintain again. “I love you,” she texted, “but out of respect for me and all my liberal writer friends, can you please take that down? Also, tell your family I love them, but I won’t be coming to Thanksgiving, and I won’t be hosting Christmas. I need space.”
Tate’s response displays what maybe many Individuals are feeling this vacation season: disillusionment. They’re coming to grips with these they as soon as thought cared about their well-being, now swept up within the anti-democratic rhetoric, conspiracies, and draconian insurance policies of Trump and his MAGA ilk.
“I will not give thanks and hold hands with people who voted for a party that wants to take rights away from LGBTQ people,” Tate wrote. “I won’t pass the turkey to someone who supports a party that targets disabled people or takes away reproductive rights. I won’t sit by the Christmas tree celebrating Jesus while so many are at risk of losing their lives because they can’t get the care they need. I won’t unwrap gifts from people who voted for a party that talked about internment camps and mass deportation.”
TikToker maamcrayons added, “They’re trying to gaslight you, telling you not to unfriend them just because they voted for Trump. It’s their own fear and trauma coming through. They’re too scared to stand up for what’s right, so they’re projecting that fear onto you.”
And for these nonetheless braving it with their MAGA kinfolk? Some customers are turning the strain into humor. “What am I making for Thanksgiving?” TikTok person Erin Monroe requested. “I’ll be making a commotion, a mess, a scene … using my special recipe of sarcasm, dark humor, and a heaping scoop of female rage.”
For a lot of this vacation season, it’s not about who’s sitting across the dinner desk—it’s about who gained’t be there and why.
